vineri, 26 martie 2010

chipul din mine

Sa invat sa merg mi se parea o grozavie...deja invatatsem sa mananc,sa rad,sa plang,sa cer...dar sa merg...era ceva grandios...
Sa invat,copila fiind,sa fac funda la siret,parea un adevarat proces pe care insa il testam cu placere.Imi amintesc cum petreceam minute in sir sa ispravesc grozavia de fundita...
Cand am mai crescut,bastonasele de pe caietul de clasa I mi se pareau ingamfate,niciodata nu vroiau sa imi semene unul cu celalalt...
Mai tarziu scrisul si cititul mi se pareau floare la ureche...si rupeam mici foite pe care imi testam abilitatile scrisului si deschideam carti mari si ingalbenite pe care le citeam si subliniam cu diferite culori...
De-a lungul timpului am invatat atat de multe lucruri...imi amintesc prima oara cand am decis sa iau in mana rimelul si creionul si mi-am conturat ochii...imi amintesc cand mi-am aranjat parul si mi-am facut buzele..imi amintesc sentimetul...
Vad cum dupa un timp,cand din multe lucruri deja facusem obiceiuri,aleg sa aprind prima tigara...imi amintesc grozaviile pe care le faceam si ma vad intr-o continua cadere....si cad si cad si cad.....si am simtit todeauna cum caut aerul,suprafata....si de multe ori gaseam si respiram....dar doar pentru un timp....
Astazi vad evolutia...de la curatul funditei la murdarul tigarii...de la curajul si visele copilei sa invarte lumea,la puterea lumii sa o invarte pe ea...
Astazi vad evolutia si privesc doar un chip....un chip demn sa imi conduca viata pe o linie continua,un chip in fata caruia sa fiu muta,un chip divin-chipul pe care L-a pus deja in mine!
Un chip care sa ma duca acasa la mine!!!Am si eu casa mea!!!

joi, 25 martie 2010

luni, 8 martie 2010

fusion...

I needed 3minutes to close my eyes and to picture JC...like he is....complete...
I did and was so easy to see him without any masks...to see him so devoted...and familiar...
I didn t needed books to know how is a pure feeling i didn t needed someone to teach me a course about this and i didn t needed to put in balance things and finally to get a general idea about it...was simple,easy and innovative...
It wasn t necessary to make any efort to make him understand my values and my beliefs couse we are alike...
I had moments when i stood in front of God ashamed couse i tried to put at the table in a different way,with my own efforts sometimes,how is God....i tried to make him understand how to approach Him,but i realized that He works in His own way without needed me to make plans and strategies to reveal a simple truth...which is a actually a lifestyle when u taste it for one second :)
I have the certainty that nothing is by chance and i look at this with more much responsibility...
I saw it....God has everything in His hand!! I only enjoy with my eyes closed the gifts in my life and i put at His feet everything...

sâmbătă, 6 martie 2010

crumbs in life

The second day from the first month...
I closed my eyes and i realized that i recived a great gift-LOVE....
I see him in front of me...is tiny,with calm eyes...he is in front of me and in his look i see love....
I took his hands and we both prayed...
He put his head on my foot and i started to tell him a story...he was in peace...he listen and he only gathered my hand when he heared something that he felt with his heart...he looked for soft things to hear...his heart wanted to hear,to feel,to live special moments....moments that make him tremble...
I rub his hair and i wisper at his ear the whole story....the story of us...he was smiling...
Holding him,having him...I felt so much love inside me and inside that beautiful man...and i wanted to keep that in a little box for the rest of my life...
He stood up after a while...he looked at me having in his eyes tears and asked me:"Who are you?"
"I m ur girlfriend" i said...
And...after that,was silence....deeper silence....
I hugged this little man and i saw that the pieces of my life become a whole...a whole in his arms...
Suddenly....I heard the door opening and i look back....then...i realized that i open the door with my own hand a few months later,but now..now i let in,all the pure feelings for this beautiful man,for the future i saw in thouse flashes inside my mind...
I saw the past...he watching how i played the tough girl role and he smiled everytime...he loved me the way i was,the way i am...i was allowed to play....his love,allowed me to play....
I stood up too and i took the chair to get closer the piano...i started to touch the keyboards...he look at me in this time...i look at him smiling...a pure smile...
I don t remeber which keyboards i touched...i don t remeber the song neither...i only know that i never knew thouse feelings and i let myslef flying...flying with the song and with the safety feeling that what i have now is pure...
I played and he was crying...i played and i said: "If we keep our hands...we can walk again...we will forget how,what is to limp and we will run,until we're strong enough to jump."
........

vineri, 5 martie 2010

US...






5 Feb 2010....

And who thought that i will decide to give my heart finally at this little pretty man?Who thought that i will know finally that....love is a gift....
Leaving behind the past..i walk confident in the future with u holding my hand JCFL!

jc+gabs

Snapshots with bebe feo... :P

Ey,bebe...i m sorry....

gabs+jc

Bebe feo...trying to say sorry in his own way....i didn t knew that a few days later,will be my turn to say sorry....